Hi, I’m Claire Hastings, and I’m so glad you found your way here.
I write Family and Relationships for Kinfolds because I believe this simple, stubborn truth: our relationships shape our lives, and none of us should have to figure them out alone. Not when things are tender and sweet. Not when they are complicated and confusing. Not when you are standing in the kitchen at 10:47 p.m. wondering how the same people can make you laugh and break your heart in the same week.
If you’re looking for a place that feels like practical support without the shame spiral, you’re in the right place.
What I bring to this work
Before I became a full-time writer, I spent 12 years working in marriage and family counseling. In that room, with the tissues and the uncomfortable chairs, I learned what most of us only learn the hard way: people rarely fight about the thing they’re fighting about.
Under the arguments about chores, screen time, intimacy, money, in-laws, and who forgot to RSVP, there is usually something softer, like fear, loneliness, grief, or the deep desire to matter to someone.
My clinical training helps me translate research-informed ideas, like attachment, communication patterns, and family systems, into plain language you can actually use on a Tuesday. My personal life keeps me honest.
- I’m in a 15-year marriage that survived a near-separation, which means I’m not interested in perfection. I’m interested in repair.
- I’m raising two teenagers, which means I’m familiar with the emotional whiplash of being adored at breakfast and deemed deeply embarrassing by lunch.
- I spent five years as the primary caregiver for my father as he lived with Alzheimer’s. After he passed, I learned firsthand how grief can be both a wave and a weather system.
So yes, I care about research. I also care about the lived reality of love, loss, and the brave work of showing up anyway.
Why Family and Relationships exists
Kinfolds is built on intergenerational connection, and this corner of the site is where we zoom in on the bonds that make that connection possible. The goal is not to hand you a script that makes every hard conversation magically easy. The goal is to help you understand what is happening underneath the surface, so you can respond with more clarity and less self-blame.
Family and Relationships is for the “in between” seasons:
- When you are trying to parent and still be a person.
- When you are navigating caregiving, boundaries, and guilt at the same time.
- When your relationship is good but stressed, or loving but frayed, or ending and you are not sure how to begin again.
- When grief changes your identity, and the world expects you to be “back to normal” too soon.
What you can expect here
My promise is a tone that is steady, non-judgmental, and grounded. I am not here to diagnose you through a screen or tell you to “just communicate better” as if you haven’t already tried that, sometimes through clenched teeth.
Instead, you will find:
- Practical tools you can use right away, like boundary language, repair conversations, and ways to de-escalate conflict.
- Gentle reality checks when the internet is selling you extremes, like “cut them off” or “accept everything.” Most families live in the middle.
- Research-informed insight explained like I’m talking to a friend, because you deserve guidance that respects your intelligence and your exhaustion.
- Room for complicated feelings, including love and resentment, relief and grief, hope and anger, sometimes all before lunch.
You’ll also see a few familiar formats here, depending on the season:
- Conversation scripts for the moments you cannot find the right words.
- Real-life scenarios pulled from the kinds of questions readers ask in quiet, honest ways.
- Research, translated with clear takeaways you can try at home.
I also write openly about modern relationships, including dating, civil unions, and divorce, because families are made and remade in many ways. If your story does not fit the classic template, you are still welcome here. You are still family.
A note on caregiving and grief
Caregiving changed me. It narrowed my world and expanded my heart, often on the same day. Alzheimer’s taught our family to measure time differently, to find meaning in small moments, and to mourn in layers.
If you are caring for a parent, missing someone you love, or trying to support a partner through loss, I write with you in mind. Not to rush you forward, but to remind you that what you are experiencing makes sense.
You don’t need to be endlessly strong. You need support, good information, and permission to be human.
A quick note
Everything you read here is educational and supportive, but it is not a substitute for therapy, medical care, or crisis support. If you are in immediate danger or thinking about harming yourself, call your local emergency number right now. If you are in the U.S., you can also call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
Welcome to Kinfolds
If you’re here because you want to love people well, even when it’s messy, I’m glad you’re here. Take what helps. Leave what doesn’t. Come back when you need a steadier voice in the middle of a hard season.
And if you’re reading this with a sigh that says, “Finally, someone gets it,” please know I do. I’ve sat on both sides of the conversation, the clinical side and the kitchen floor side.
Welcome to Family and Relationships. We’ll figure it out, one honest moment at a time.
